things change so quickly
in the blink of an eye, really. one second, someone is there, and the next, theyre just not.
i have lost so many people in the last three months, in so many different ways. i had two high school friends each lose their father this summer. i had two high school friends lose their lives this summer. i had three friends leave for another country. my brother moved to a different state. my sister moved to an even farther state. two of my best friends changed schools. a close friend got in a nearly-fatal car accident, a coworker went off to college. i had to give my cat up for adoption. and my best friend, the one person who understood me the best, who knew me so well, and stood by me through all of my mistakes, stepped away from my life.
its strange to think about, really. the level of attachment i had to everyone i lost. its weird to think about. but thats how i see it. theyre lost. ill find them again, someday.
ive been feeling too existential, lately, as i realize that most of my friends are older than me, and theyre all moving on to bigger and better things, while im still slogging through the stuff they finished long ago. you really cant rush growing up.
when you try, you just end up losing people.
