i got to see him
they actually let me in to see him! it was amazing and awful at the same time. he is awake, alert, and stable, and its still family only but his family let me in for 20 minutes to visit, after making me promise not to let his friends know. he cant talk because of the tube but he writes on your hand and we spent my entire visit with me unsuccessfully guessing at what he was saying. it wasnt until he left that i figured out what letter he kept tracing on my hand. what was the whole sentence? the whole phrase? will he remember when they can finally take the tube out? will he tell me then? or was this a one time thing, something he would only say because he still thinks he is in critical condition, despite how much he reassure him that he isnt. its the tube. he hates that tube.
how frustrating it was. how much of a let down. we were both there, awake, aware, and unable to communicate.
